On Isolation

Many things suck about being chronically ill, and I’ve talked about some of them before, but this is something that sucks on a more emotional level.

The only people I see, and talk to really, are my family and my doctors.

And it’s not that my family doesn’t rock, because they do, and I’m lucky that my sister is my best friend and I can talk to her about whatever and she’s cool with me being queer. But it still sucks.

I am so bored. Just, all the time.

It’s not that I didn’t have friends when I was going to school, because I knew some really awesome people, but all my friendships were connected to things I can’t do anymore. I had friends at school, I had friends on my soccer team, I had friends I rowed crew with, but I guess I didn’t have friends who stuck around when I got sick.

Maybe that isn’t fair. I know I’m not always good at reaching out and keeping in touch either but I expected more of an effort, I guess.

Even here, I follow some really awesome people and some of them even follow me but I don’t feel like I have someone to talk to.

So whatever. If you want to be my friend then I’m down with it is what I’m saying.