thanks brain, this is exactly what i needed

Woke up from a bad dream where I was having a screaming fight with my family (out in a field for some reason).

They were all yelling at me that I wasn’t really sick, that I was a sad waste of time, that I disgusted them, that nobody will ever love me, etc. and I was just sobbing and yelling at them that I am sick. I am. I am.

Then we were in a car that I was driving, for some reason, and I was asking them why they didn’t love me. We were in an underground parking lot that I couldn’t find my way out of so I was driving in circles and asking them what I had to do to make them love me again. They were all just sitting there, sneering at me, and telling me there was nothing I could do, because it was too late and they all hated me.

I knew I was dreaming but I couldn’t stop myself from talking or crying. I was just watching myself be torn down.

Then I woke up.

I was just like, wow subconscious that was not subtle at all.

Seriously, it was the most literal dream I have ever had. Usually when bad shit happens to me in dreams, it’s a figurative interpretation of my fears. So I’ll be drowning, or trapped somewhere, or running, or whatever. But this was just my family members reciting all of my depressed self-loathing thoughts out loud, to my face.

It was terrible.